Thinking Out of the Box!

Most of us have out of the world ideas, right? Some of us dare to speak up, while others don’t! Crazy ideas and quirky habits go hand in hand. See a connection? No?

Well, clouds have been influencing me big time. They are dynamic, they keep moving and changing shapes. Instead of looking at clouds as meteorological phenomena, I look at them for inspiration and believe that they are constantly trying to communicate with us! I have been watching these majestic beings since childhood. 

When I was growing up, I tried to talk with “real life friends” about my passion or rather attachment towards clouds! All I received was weird looks. Already, I was labeled as a naughty tomboy character. In fact I was also called as ’Vaishnavan’…on top of all these, I was not keen in getting labeled as cranky! So, I stopped sharing about my secret friends. Instead, I started to take pictures and write about them.

Not just writing skills, my secret friends were constantly shaping my thought process and guide me in all walks of life! For example, often I’ve heard people saying ‘Every cloud has a silver lining!’ to console the depressed. But, it was difficult for me to comprehend the connection between dire situation and clouds with silver lining, until I saw them with my own eyes.

Once I was hurrying up for meeting with a difficult client. The skies looked dark and ominous. I already was apprehensive and thought that this impending thunderstorm would worsen and the traffic would play on my nerves. When I was about to get inside my car, I saw a dark heavy cloud traveling towards the way I was about to drive. I was sure that it is going to pour down massively. But, I think my floating friends decided to show me a magic and keep me level-headed. Suddenly the dark beauty it stopped moving, in the stillness I saw a fine white line along the edges. Subtly, the line widened to a silver border and in minutes the dark cloud was completely engulfed in the white light. Gone was the darkness! Amazing isn’t it?! You don’t have to be depressed about adverse situations, things will change!

Bunch of clouds gliding towards each other remind me of friends rushing to greet.  Colorful clouds, especially during dawn and dusk say that nature is the greatest painter!

See, with a crazy habit of watching the skies I am gifted with secret friends, with whom I communicate in my own terms. They keep coming to me at right times and add color to my life! 

I flow along with the clouds and see how they shape up. Best ideas, solutions come to me while I watch them. Whenever I’m at crossroads, I look up to my secret friends, clouds. They are there, as always!

Reality of Coming Home

This is my Competent Communicator Level 2 speech script (CC2) @ Toastmasters!

How many of you have lived outside India or out of your home town?

To me both the experience are more or less the same – to have a smooth transition I would say that you need to keep 3 important aspects in mind:

• Pace & prepare
• Setting right expectation
• Adaptation 

Like most of us, when I went to live abroad, I was all excited. This excitement alone helped me to cope up the new situation, in spite of not being prepared.

Our World Tuesday Blue

But the scenario dramatically changed when we came home as repatriates. We thought of giving ourselves some time to decide if we really wanted to stay back. 

While we were trying to figure out the right school for my daughter, I took up this new full time job after being a freelancer for more than 4 years. I was apprehensive about the work culture, in terms of timing and commuting. Suddenly, everything seemed too much for me, and the worst part is I was not prepared for what was in store for me, I just was overwhelmed. Even to take an auto or bus was a challenge because the dust and pollution was taking it’s toll on me. Some of you, R has seen my initial days in SW. How I used to get rashes and cough constantly. This was mainly because I was trying to rush things and get going. Instead of giving time, I thought that self- driving would help me to overcome the situation, without realizing that I would have road-rage.

It is all about expectations, I think I was having very high expectations on my driving skills. I was trying to follow road rules and be courteous on road, but I found everything on road was chaotic and couldn't believe that I used to ply the same roads without any difficulty! I was getting all worked up and swear that the road users had no civic sense. Basically, my expectations were incorrect and I was unable to cope up. When I tried discussing these issues with friends it was not well received. I was scorned and criticized that I was behaving as if am living in Chennai for the first time. If only I was more tolerant and set my driving expectations lower, I could have easily avoided getting into this reverse culture shock!

Once you know what to expect, adapting should be easy. But, since I was not tuned to setting expectations, adapting was also difficult. Usually, we do things habitually, so for anything and everything, we try to draw parallels based on our past experience. During my initial expat days, while shopping or be it vegetables or dresses, I used to convert Ringgit or pounds to Rupees and used to wonder why it is so expensive. When I came back, I had to re-learn in using rupees on a daily basis. I was getting all excited about how cheap things are. But, this excitement was taken as snobbishness and any casual remark was scorned. Finally, my mom did knock some sense in me by reminding that there is nothing to be excited about, and now, we were earning in Rupees and not in Ringgit!

See, everything boils down to preparing for the situation, setting right kind of expectation and adapting to the situation. Basically, when you are in Rome be a Roman. You can easily escape typical jibes of being labelled as ‘foreign returned’!

Note:

As soon as I saw the green card for 5 min indication…I rushed to finish and skipped to talk about this! So the speech had a tone as if am not happy to be back home. Actually I meant to close by telling how it is not always necessary to unlearn things that you have picked up as an expat!

Then, it doesn’t mean that you need to unlearn whatever you have learnt as an expat. For example, when a stranger smiles at me I used to turn back and see to confirm if they were actually smiling at me. Because, normally here I was not used to this simple act. But, now I still continue to smile at strangers too, without a second thought as a good will. 

Pen Thoughts

It was love at first sight, for my husband, on a pen^^. The minute he set his eyes on this Alan Dlouis Pen, he had to have it.

Unlike Gen Y or nexters, ink pens were part of growing up for Gen X. We used to get a new pen, usually at the beginning of an academic year, along with other goodies like new school bag, pencil case & water bottle.

Come to think of it, besides the inconvenience of refilling ink every now and then, it does have an attraction or may be just I'm nostalgic. At times the pen would leak and there would be ink on fingers, notebooks and even on the school uniform. The best fun was trying to get few drops of ink from a friend's pen, because we have missed to fill it up. By doing that spill few drops, never had a care how to remove those stains! 

We used to exchange our pen with friends as well, and at home we had to explain why we do this! 

Our World

There is an adage often quoted in Indian movies, "Pen is mightier than the sword". Well, now "keyboard is the sword"! However, I recall ink-pens being used as swords by boys in fighting, and especially on 1st of April, they smear ink on friend's back and of course get reprimanded by teachers:) 

Come to think of it, I'd say that now pens have lost it's significance, well NOT when we are in a meeting and trying to scribble something or doodle :D

A Glimpse into My Journey

Though am a confident writer by choice and profession, who is driven by passion, I'm not comfortable facing an audience! Recently, I have joined Toastmasters International (corporate member). Now, I have the motivation to challenge myself and outgrow my limitation. As a baby step, I had to prepare for my first speech called CC1 - Icebreaker(Competent and Communication). Since I prepared a script, I thought why not document it down as a blog too! Herez the script:

Born in a traditionally conventional Sourashtra family on 5th March...during raghu kaalam, whatever the implication might be. Well, I was brought up in an energetic environment and encouraged to do stuff my way. Dad is a business man and mom is an unusual home maker. Unusual, in the sense by the time she was just 18, she had me & my brother who is younger than me by 2 years! But, that didn't stop her from chasing her dream of higher studies. By the time I graduated with a BA in English Lit, my mom had completed a degree in Commerce (BCom), a degree in Sanskrit and Hindi Grammar too! All through my life I have seen that passion was the only driving force her. Speaking about my husband, he is a Metals doctor and because of him I have had the opportunity to travel and live outside India too, which has given me wonderful opportunities. We have a teenage daughter who is in AS levels in an international school, because it his her first time getting education in India.

I grew up with my cousins, and most of them were boys...I enjoyed typical boys activities like climbing walls & trees flying kites and basically I was a ‘tom boy’. 

Applied soft-focus - but you get an idea!

Besides that, I was named as ‘chatterbox’, because I always had a lot to talk, if I was asked to do something, I had to know why and if I was told NOT to do, then I had even more things to ask, why can’t I do and what if I do that! At home, I was banned from using razor blades to sharpen the pencils, so once at school, I think I was in year 3, one of my friends was using blade and he kept teasing me that I don't know how to use it, so I was trying to snatch from him and ended up with hurting myself...well, that gave me an identification mark for life!

Throughout my schooling I was a mediocre student, who loves chatting and being a back bencher, but the trouble was, I was never allowed to sit in the back bench because my teachers knew how naughty I could be. Any noise or distraction, first I would be singled out. This continued throughout my college life as well, so I will just say that I had a gala time for 3 years. 

Well, I have inherited my passion and interest from my mom. Whatever I do, I try to do it wholeheartedly and not just for the sake of doing it. My reading habit too has evolved from comics to philosophy and fiction to factual books. When I was a kid, I was attracted to pictures, so started off with comics like Muthu comics, Mayavi series and from school library I used to get Tin Tin, later moved on to Secret Seven, Famous Five, Treasure Island kind of books and during adolescent, I was more towards Mills & Boon & Silhouette series. During college days, I graduated to reading Ayn Rand, Sidney Sheldon, Harold Robbins, Jeffery archer and Robert Ludlum and I was introduced to Chandilyan and kalki too and till date I have a strong attachment to Cholas & Pallavas. Because of this passion, just at the drop of the hat, I drive to Mahabalipuruam just to see the caves & take photos. 

Shore Temple - Mahabalipuram - Our World

 When you do anything, do it with passion, that will be the driving force. From my experience be it my naughty tricks from childhood or preparing for this CC1, I do it with passion. Passion helps you to look forward to things in life and give you the confidence to pursue relentlessly. 

Exploring with a Friend @ Fraser Hills

After initial hiccups in planning, we succeeded in going to Fraser Hills (Pahang, Malaysia) with a friend's family. This also happens to be my first experience in hill driving. I had to pull up my car seat to almost 90 degrees and sit straight to get a better view at the bends and drive at a terribly slow pace, otherwise it was quite smooth.

Just about 90 KM from Kuala Lumpur it is hard to believe that such a peaceful and beautiful hill station exists.
My crazy partner prefers to stay indoors instead of exploring new places. Therefore, I've always had misgivings when we travel, and wondered how good it would be to travel with someone with same interest and at the same time comfortable to talk to. I guess my wish has been so strong that this time, I was blessed with wonderful experience and do things without having to argue!

View from our suite

Chirpy visitor at daybreak

Never realized moths can be colorful!

Hill view reflection

In this trip, the men and kids decided to stay indoors, where as my good friend and myself decided to 'explore' using the map. Both of us were not good in reading the map, but the town is too small, so it was rather easy to find our way.

Golf Course

Compared to the KL Butterfly park, here the butterfly park looked small and uninviting. Then the water park too was closed, but the view through the gates was fantastic.

Allen's Water - disused reservoir 

Though I enjoy walking in the jungle or plains, I do not look forward to climbing as I start sweating and loose my stamina quickly. However, when my friend urged to go on trekking, I agreed halfheartedly to take the shortest trail, but did not complete it:(

Ferns, berries, morning glory

After this disastrous attempt, we decided to drive further and see if there was anything interesting or you could just call it as 'wild goose chase'. And, we came across a viewing deck, so we pulled up to see. We saw the sign board to a waterfall and while we were considering to go there, we noticed a Caucasian stopping a car that was headed downhill and warn them of a landslide ahead.

Fish tailed palm

Watching us, a lady who was sitting nearby pointed at the Caucasian and told, 'my husband just walked to that waterfalls in the morning and he says that the roads are not good, but still the cars keep going!'. Now, I had to ask if he had taken any pictures. She assured that her husband would show us the pictures.
While taking out his camera, he told with a lighthearted banter that it took him 1 hour to go to the waterfall and 2 hrs to walk back! Soon, we learned that they were Australians and were on Malaysian roads for the past two weeks. Within few minutes we touched on various subjects such as Indian arranged marriages, waterfalls in Australia, 'grayed nomads' who cause traffic jams with their huge caravans, comparatively cheap Malaysian food price, peculiar habit of Malaysian bikers who wear the jackets as seen in the pic below (1st biker from right), lazy attitude of the staff at the resort where they were staying etc. It felt good to talk to strangers, without being stared at by my family.

Finally, we had to drag ourselves back to the resort, in the hope of coming back after a short break. But, later we were too tired and it was also rainy and getting dark, so we had to call it a day.Since childhood, going to hill stations has always been fun. Cool weather, smell of fresh grass, chillness in the air, curvy roads or um...whatever I've always felt romantic about hill stations. But, after this trip I would certainly vouch that traveling with a like-minded and understanding friend to a hill station is substantially gratifying without any romantic inclinations!

Wild Goose Chase - Random Search

My all time favorite activity - wild goose chase, this time did it with my daughter. In fact she was the one who proposed it, after an unsatisfied lunch outing. Her first question was, 'you don't have the GPS with you now, anyways do you think we could go for a long drive to somewhere new?' for which I said, 'thatz the fun part, letz go'. Without target, we started our trip on a road that I have seldom driven. After about 20 KM we saw a signboard, 'Anjung Jetty'. I've been there once to check out the boat timings to Pulau Besar, but by then I had used GPS. I thought, I might be able to find the route, but we ended up in a small fishermen jetty instead!

Unknown Jetty in a small fishing village near Melaka

Few young chaps were lazing around, and we were uncomfortable to get down and ask for directions...better to be safe than regrets, right? So, we just made a u-turn from there and within few mts, we saw this...

Monkey pet!?

It was a very narrow road and I didn't realize that I was blocking the way until an old man slowed down in front of us and tried to cross us. It gave me a chance to wind down the car window and ask for directions. We were in for luck, he told that we were about 1 KM away from Anjung jetty, if we took that unkempt road ahead of us. He added that he was on the way to that place and we could just follow him.

After driving for about a minute, the road was getting worst, but the scenery was breath taking, no-mans land on one side and beautiful sea on the other side. I couldn't enjoy the view, I was a bit apprehensive and wondered if I had made the right decision by following a stranger. What if something terrible happens, like a flat tire or someone stops us midway with a knife etc..My daughter too voiced out similar concerns. But then, we calmed ourselves by telling that we would NOT open the door or STOP the car until we reached civilization.
That 5 mins of nerve-wracking drive felt like we were driving forever. We reached the jetty safely and parked the car to get down for some fresh air and clicked these shots...

SOOC and Shadow Shot Sunday2

Scenic Sunday

Going on an unplanned long drive is always fun and at times a bit of tension as well, but that adds up the thrill!

Whereabouts?

Friends asked me if I will go online during our holidays. I said that they could reach me on my mobile or as usual, through mail and FB. On a different note, there are controversies on using 'check-in' app of Facebook, mainly because of safety reasons. Well, is it worth to show FB status as "...have checked in ABC Bank"? When I started thinking in this direction, I vaguely remembered that I'd read something about having trust and finding people in the last century, in Jewellery Quarter Museum, Birmingham. So, I dug through my photos archive and found this interesting piece of info...

So much was done on trust! They led such a simple life, no urge to shout at the whole world about their whereabouts, like how we do today via status updates in social sites!

Never buy 2nd Hand Tires!

Last week I had to replace my car tires, so I was shopping around to check price. When I asked for best price, usually the salesmen recommended me to go for 2nd hand tires. And, when I asked them about the safety of such tiers, they gave me several answers like, 'its ok if you drive in town, but not on highways' 'it has 60% tread so you can drive like any normal tire' and 'its almost like retread tires'

For my wheel size, the tire price for the 2nds ranged from RM50 - RM80 and new ones were from RM175 - RM 280. Though I was tempted to go for the low priced 2nds, I did not want to take risk, so I went for new (Goodyear) tires. While fixing, I decided to hang around and see what they did. They took out wheels from the car > removed worn out tires > fitted with new tire > did balancing > fitted back the wheels to the car > aligned. Well, that was routine stuff. Half way through this process, what attracted me was the guy who was busy doing something to an old tire.

Out of curiosity I asked him in my broken Malay 'apa ithu'. But he managed to reply in broken English, 'do 2nd hand tire!'. He was shredding rubber from worn out treads! I'm sure the tire was not tested for any belt defects, so am pretty sure that the strength of the tire is gone by doing this kind of patch work. Hardly he took about 10 minutes and converted a bald tire to 60% used tire!!! I was shocked & said, 'this is not safe', and he merely grinned. When I focused my mobile phone to take a picture, he requested me not to capture, but then I assured him that I wouldn't capture his face.

Moral of the story, DO NOT FALL for 2nd or used tires, even if someone tells you there is 60% or 70% tread in it.

Pollution

I enjoy evening walks, but nowadays it is very difficult to go out because of the haze.

Haze trying to compete with dark clouds

How could they just burn trash, mainly dry leaves and twigs, right in front of their houses, without having any concern for the atmosphere or neighbors!

Mood = Monkey

Today, for the first time, I knocked on a parked motorcycle, at the petrol station when I was reversing my car. However, only the helmet fell off and nothing happened to the motorcycle and my car. That was when I realized that I was affected by Monday blues! Like most of us, certainly I get upset, especially when something goes wrong early in the morning.

Over a small matter I was upset, but I was not able to pin-point the exact reason and was flying off the handle with anyone/anything that came my way. Then, I was blaming this and that and started wondering about all the "ifs & buts". For sure, I knew that talking about this with a friend would not give me any relief, but it would only add fuel to what had happened. On the way back from school, I happened to see a monkey and at that instance I remembered a story that I'd often heard in my childhood. It's about a monkey that had thorn in its tail.

Someone tries to help the monkey to remove the thorn, but accidentally cuts off the tail instead. Now, the monkey blames the man for cutting his tail and demands that the man gives his knife as compensation. The monkey was happy and singing merrily about what it had gained by loosing. After a while, the monkey sees a small girl trying to cut fire-wood with bare hands, so it offers her the knife. After chopping, the knife gets blunt, so the monkey was upset and demands that the girl gives the firewood to the monkey. Like this the trading of goods keeps growing, but the monkey was never satisfied, it kept blaming others!

Well, I thought I was having the monkey's attitude, where I was trying to blame on my "bad mood" for the carelessness while reversing. Well, this gave me an opportunity to write about the monkey story^^:)

Different Angle

On our umpteenth trip to Batu Caves, I was too tired to climb the steps, so I opted to stay down and do some tourist stuff. I sat down at a coffee shop for tender coconut drink, and was absently gazing at the towering Golden Muruga. My mind was racing with a lot of "if only this or that" and accidentally I raised my hands to shoo away a fly and by that angle I noticed that Mrga was just fitting in the curve of my hands!

Now, ratillator in me woke up and here is the shot...

There are many ways to look at things and our woes would become small in size when we look at things in wide angle!

Ignorant Car User

I've been driving for more than 8 years, but am still unfamiliar with stuff under the hood. When my foreman says if something is wrong, I have no choice except to accept and spend. Luckily (I believe), this time round my mechanic seems to be a reasonable guy who doesn't suggest changing every part.

During last service, I complained that lately my car did not have enough power as it used to be. After checking crazy wires and parts under the hood, one of the assistants crawled under my car to examine, dunno what. Then, I was told that my exhaust pipe had a hole, thanks to my fast track driving, especially over the humps!

Being a reasonable fellow, my foreman asked me to go to the exhaust pipe shop and weld the hole. But, I was wary of going to a new place on my own so I convinced that my foreman take me to a reliable place to fix.

At the exhaust pipe shop, as expected the so called expert examined and recommended that I have to go for a "brand new" exhaust pipe, which would cost me "just around" RM180! But, the hole was only about the size of a pepper. When my mechanic argued on my behalf, I was told that "well you could weld, but you would hear a noise when you drive". However, my foreman said that would not be an issue with car performance, so I just opted for welding...

After fixing, there is "no noise" when I drive and also the power has been restored, all for just RM 15! Moral of the story, be careful and watch out for lame excuses when you are asked to replace something completely, especially when it looks good enough to you.

Is Shopping an Addiction?

Recently, I have been on mad trips to nearby super markets at least once a week and buy things that I need or might remotely need in the future. It all started as an act of escapade when there were elders at home and I didn't want to get in unwanted discussions early in the morning. Thank heavens, after two months my situation has changed.

Looking back at the stock in hand I'm shocked to realize how desperate I have been in these days. Then, I was doing a flash-back of the yester years and how I used to shop only for the necessities. This made me to Google and find if there are compulsive shoppers.

After reading the indications and symptoms of compulsive shoppers am shocked to realize how shopping could lead one towards addiction, which further would lead to financial destruction! Here is a description on chronic or compulsive shoppers...

Shopaholics (as they are sometimes referred to) when they are feeling "out of sorts, shop for a " pick-me-up." They go out and buy, to get a high, or get a "rush" just like a drug or alcohol addict.

Here is a questionnaire you might want to go through...

• Do you often go on buying binges?
• Do you find yourself spending more time and/or money buying on the Internet or on the shopping channels than you want to?
• Does money burn a hole in your pocket?
• Do you go shopping because you want to make yourself feel better?
• Do you often buy things because you think they will make you more like your ideal image?
• Do you sometimes feel that something inside of you pushes you to shop?
• Do you shop to avoid doing something else in your life?

If you answered YES to most of the questions, it is time for you to wake up and take stock, lock and barrel on your shopping habit.

Survival of the Fittest

Drama started when the Japanese car giant Toyota recalled eight models (around 2.3 million units) in the US after a serious accelerator pedal problem. Seems like, when you press hard at the accelerator to speed up, chances of getting stuck is high! Sounds like death trap that is usually designed by heinous villains in the movies^^

Well from business point of view, GM and Ford has started marketing campaigns to woo the Toyota car owners, who would be looking for an immediate replacement. Here is a review from Business Week. Though it is an opportunistic and strategic move, I guess that the blind faith on Japanese cars might be shattered and naturally people would have started looking for the best alternative.

Somehow, I can't stop myself from thinking of vultures circling over a dying man.

Travelling Wheelbarrow!

See how this new wheelbarrow is treated royally...

When I saw this at the traffic light, I was thinking of a Tamil saying, "oodamum oru naal kappalil yerum", (ஓடமும் ஒரு நாள் கப்பலில் ஏறும்), which means that even a boat gets to travel by ship!

Photo - A Touching Experience

During my last visit to India, we went to Sri Rengam, a Hindu holy temple. After our prayers, as usual I was capturing whatever caught my fancy. I will share that in another post.

I heard someone meekly calling "akka akka" from behind. I had to stop focusing and turn around to see if I was the one called for...there stood this chap longingly looking at my puny camera and asking if I would take a picture of him. When I agreed, he gave a dazzling smile and posed without even putting down the basket from his head!

Thankful-Thursday Challenge

After that he moved away and I had to stop and show his picture on my LCD. He stood in awed silence and then broke in a large grin and sprinted away.
Every time I see this picture, I wonder here is a NEXTER who doesn't know a thing about the current hi-tech stuff. I should have printed this photo and given it to him for keepsake...

Wavy...

It was only 7.50 AM when I reached my kid's school today. After waving bye to her, I was in a mood to explore around. As the school faces the sea, I was sure that there must be some calm beach within few kms. I decided to follow the signboard Pantai Putrei. After taking a couple of left and right turns from the highway, and passing through kampungs (villages), I arrived at the beach.

Well, I was not too sure if I could find my way back that too with my "pasar malam" Malay. Um, thinking philosophically to live for that moment, I cheered up and started walking in the beach sand. It was soothing to watch the waves at that time of the day.

Tireless waves trying to reach their target...look at the oncoming cheerful waves and the subdued receding waves...didn't they reach their goals?

Love Hate Graphic

Every time I saw this advertisement in London buses, I was attracted by this powerful, yet simple graphic.

It is amazing to see how same graphic, with different angle can change the perception. Kudos to the creative designer who had come up with this! Come to think of it, everything in life too is like this. When you change your attitude, things too take a different color.

Verbal Communication

Lately, am alone in a new country, where every experience is new and am in a situation where survival of the fittest is very true. So, am constantly on the lookout for ways to excel and stand out in the crowd.

I have been thinking why is there so much difference in the way we talk and the way we write? I guess I am not alone in this kind of dilemma. How often do we take effort to apply any strategy in speaking (verbal communications)? Most of the conversations tend to be reactive instead of pro-active, that is why people tend to face conflicts and arguments.

What would happen if we try to apply writing strategy when we speak? Am sure it would result in better and improved overall communications. In fact, conversations should be a lot simpler than writing, because, primarily the "audience" is in front of you, where as in written form of communication, you have an extra step of identifying your "audience" and you cannot even gauge the reactions of the reader.

Let me list down some of the writing tactics that I follow:

1. Analyze the topic and gather information
2. Come up with clear picture of what is required to write
3. Write a draft and revise
4. Get a feedback from appropriate resources, if necessary

Well, coming back to conversations, most often I have observed that we tend to listen and answer without giving a second thought. We forget that in this form of communication, often we don't have a chance to revise. Further, many fail to get a feedback. To overcome this issue, you can take simple steps that would go a long way in making "successful conversations":

1. Listen carefully
2. Try to give direct answer
3. If you are not sure of what is asked, instead of giving an answer, you should try to phrase the question in your own words and confirm with the other person.
4. After answering, instead of keeping quite try to get feedback by asking "have I answered your question?" or "is this what you were expecting"

By asking this kind of simple questions, you would have a chance to understand if you have really had a successful conversation, which goes a long way in building strong communication skills.

Launching of the Debs

In most of the Indian communities, still arranged marriages are common. Usually, when a family is ready to marry off their children, they start taking the boy/girl to social events like weddings and get-togethers where they expect to find suitable bride or groom within their community.

Likewise, in the past there was similar culture in the western aristocratic societies as well. 17-year-old girls are called as debutantes, and they would be, launched into society where they could meet eligible bachelors, between March to August. This was called as The Season and the occasion would be referred as Coming out Dance.

The term debutante is pronounced as:

Often they are just called as debs for short. Unlike Indian communities, it was quite surprising to know the planning and preparation required to become a deb! For starters, the girls were sent to Finishing Schools in France, London or Switzerland, depending on the family's financial status. Here, they learnt to dance, how to behave in society and write courteous notes. In short, all aspects of etiquette would be taught in the finishing schools.

At the Kensington Palace, The Last Debutantes section presents a clear picture of this culture. Here, I came across a deb's comment, on how they managed to fake their waists to look smaller:

We always wore petticoats under our dresses to make our waists look smaller - Judy Johnson

They were using the dress to show off their riches. The narrow waist dress shown in the above picture is studded with precious stones and rich thread work. Moreover, see this clipping to get an idea of how frivolous they have been:

Yet again, a similarity with the Indian custom is that, like the Indian brides, the debs eagerly used to anticipate the guests. Here is a classic photo where the debs are waiting for guests to arrive.

Besides the formal coming out, they were very fashion conscious in selecting the dresses and accessories for the whole season. 

I guess they would have used these clothes to out with the chosen guys. Um, of course debs were always chaperoned.